Wonder...

I can't help but wonder what I would have been like,
If this didn't weigh me down, like I've always believed.
How great could I be? Or do I need this as my crutch?
To which I blame my failures on, and blame how I'm perceived?

I often wonder what I would have been like,
If this didn't give my failures repetition.
Would I be better? Whoever could I beat?
Because now I'm at the bottom of every competition.

If I was born under different blood,
Would I not have this burden?
I imagine that would be nice,
But would I be a complete different person?

Or is it something I did, something I caused,
An accident? A fall? Or a developmental lapse?
Doctor's can't tell, they lose credibility,
Or was something done in my head during one of my naps.

Would it even make a difference? Would I be better without it?
Was I destined for this so I'd have a chance?
Is it my savior from myself in disguise?
Or is it just the reason that I can't dance?